Business, sweet business.

Were all in it to a degree, whether it’s writing content, creating products, selling products you name it we all work for a common goal.

Nothing wrong with it, business makes the world go round.

That doesn’t mean I don’t hate it, the constant self-promotion of products/services, the putting it out there for the world to see, “somebody like it, please.”

It devours the soul, gobbles it up and spits out an empty husk.

This might seem like a rant, well it is one, but it’s my observations in and around the web. I’m sick of it, Andrew asked me for my take, I said no holds barred? Andrew said yeh, go for it.

I got to admire him on that one. Here’s my take on all things inspirational, Linkedin and fucking eBooks. Enjoy.

Inspirational Quotes

Inspirational quotes, bullshit. Absolute, unequivocal bullshit. You see them everywhere, Linkedin, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, you name it they are everywhere.

Don’t get me wrong some quotes are cool, hell inspirational sometimes.

It’s the intent/usage with many of them, and it’s the constant need to be favoured by using a quote purely to get likes, tweets, shares .etc.

Step One:

Get a background image, usually something scenic, perhaps with a waterfall in it, maybe a beautiful skyline.

Step Two:

Search the internet for a quote; you can twist into relating to you or your business (ultimately). Still, with enough of a hint of ambiguity, it could apply to your readership/followers.

Step Three:

Throw in some hashtags like #mondaymotivation #inspire #inspiration #succeed

It’s horseshit. There I said it. I’m all for inspirational quotes, but self-serving ones. No fuck that.

Leading me on to.

Linkedin is a mire of self promoting dirge

Linkedin is a case in point. I’ve been dipping my toe into its murky waters for a while now. Amidst the posts that frequent my feed are self-congratulatory whimsy.

“Congratulations to the team for winning XYZ award.” and a picture of a group of people forcing smiles, wondering when the awards ceremony ends so they can get home and be with the family.

Linkedin is just a shameless promotion platform, there I said it. No doubt I will get some negative response to this, but I couldn’t give a flying fuck.

Hey, I’ve even done it push something on there to get business to look at a product or service. Man it’s soul-destroying it truly is, it feels like you’re pimping yourself out.

Hardly anyone on Linkedin is genuine, and sure there are a few people who are.

Good luck on finding them, seriously, it will take you a while.

Linkedin is a very shouty “This is why I’m great!” or “My business is fucking awesome.” type of place.

It’s straight-up full of fakery. That’s the problem with Linkedin as a platform.

People do business with people.

Me just now

I can’t believe I’ve just literally used a fucking quote. But you know what? It’s true.

Linkedin is not a people place, and it’s full of people trying to get you to buy something or use their services.

Hardly anyone uses their natural voice. People are all there to push business, be better than the competition, standout. I get that but be human about it.

In an ideal world on Linkedin

For once I’d love to see someone post something on Linkedin mentioning they fucked up, how they dealt with and lessons learned, in a human voice.

I would prefer to work with someone like that.

But no, instead it’s a constant promotion, how wonderful they are, how lucky you would be to benefit from their services/skills.

Linkedin thieves

I’ve seen first-hand people stealing content that appeared on Reddit and passing it off as there own. Or worse yet using it for a motivational quote.

You know the drill it’s a Monday.

Someone in your feed shows a dog getting rescued (everyone goes ahhh) and a few people help each other out. Great, that’s humanity, and who doesn’t love a dog, right? Except for cats and dog haters.

Anyways the point? Someone posted something like this the other day (I’m not in the habit of naming and shaming), but the post read along the lines of:

“Having a great team behind you as a business means you can pull through anything.”

A Linkedin User

It’s a dog getting rescued. It’s got nothing to do with your fucking team, you self serving tool.

I’m sure the people who saved the dog will be reassured there daring rescue attempt will help people in business get through the struggles of their day.

This happens quite often on Linkedin, stealing video content/memes/gifs, or not even citing the source, just so they can come across in a better light.

Yes well that worked didn’t it. WTF, unfollowed, move on.

Thought-leaders, lol.

Thought-leaders, WTF. Seriously? It sounds like a name given by the CIA to some telepathic research division.

You can even picture a boardroom meeting within the CIA, pitching ideas for it.

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Team Leader: “OK people, our research team has done the impossible and harnessed the power of telepathy; our agents will now be able to use it for interrogation and covert ops. We need a name, people; we need a name.“

Ophelia: “TPU, Telepathic Unit, short punchy, agents will remember it.“

Team Leader: “Next.“

Bob: “Thought-leaders”

Team Leader: “Give that man a raise.”

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Sounds stupid right, so does the word Thought-leader.

The very definition of thought-leadership is to be an expert or authoritative voice in a specific field, the go-to person.

Problem with this is you’ll always get a view askew, thought-leaders can be wrong from time to time. Man, that’s the nature of people, we all get something wrong, now and again.

Do you want to follow a thought-leader blindly imbibing their advice, even though it could be ill-informed?

Thought-leadership is a wank term made up to give people who know some shit more importance, there I said it. Unpopular opinion? Yes maybe.

Thought-leaders feel the need to impart their wisdom on us poor, uneducated folk, with snippets of incoherent shite they come up with and people fucking lap it up.

Don’t be one of them, don’t do it, trust me, you’ll feel better for avoiding the noise.

Question a thought-leader?

Cast doubt over their findings if they are ill-informed. Just don’t expect a comment.

No seriously don’t expect a reply. You’re not on the same level.

Buy my fucking eBook.

Yeh, sure why not! Sounds good right? This doesn’t just relate to eBooks, you know. It refers to online courses, seminars and more besides.

How many times have you seen a catchy title on the web at large?

Something along the lines of:

“Learn the secrets of my 6 figure income.”

I can tell you it’s selling fucking courses to morons.

“How I spend just 30 Minutes a day & make 15K a month.”

They spend 30 minutes writing up a newsletter then hitting send, selling courses to fucking morons.

“How I made my first million with no investment.”

You know the answer already.

Anyone who is anyone selling you a course/ebook/whatever is selling themselves. They have to provide features and benefits along with what to expect and what they can learn.

There are some great online courses on the web, excellent seminars to attend and some fantastic offerings out there.

Anyone who uses any of the titles as mentioned earlier to get bums on seats, or clicks to buy, is in all intensive purposes a charlatan. It’s a fact.

They make their money preying on peoples ignorance and lack of knowledge.

I feel sorry for them, to a degree, but then I think about it a little more, and then I don’t.

These types of eBooks, courses or seminars are selling you the idea of wealth, and of course, this appeals to an individuals greed.

Picture it:

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Drew: “Buddy, can I borrow $497.00 to buy a course from Chip Finklestein.”

Buddy: “Whose Chip Finklestein and what’s the course about?”

Drew: “Chip’s running a course on how he makes $497.00 a day with the power of outreach!”

Buddy: “Dude, we need to talk.“

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My advice? For what it’s worth.

Don’t follow suit with other people in your line of business, be different be daring above all else just be you.

People love to laugh, make them laugh, have fun if you’re having fun communicating with others, it will show.

You’ll garner new followers, new readers (if you’re blogging/writing) and generally feel better about yourself, your business and your state of mind.

I’ll repeat it, people do business with people — not a disembodied empty shell of a corporate voice. Build trust, admit mistakes, take your time to get to know people, converse, be yourself.

Over to you

What’re the worst smarmiest sales like, inspirational self-serving thing you’ve ever seen? This isn’t a competition or anything, but if it’s pure gold, I think somewhere you might get a T-shirt deal of it.